


run

by Lele_jae



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Self-Insert, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25239223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lele_jae/pseuds/Lele_jae
Summary: an oikawa x reader angsty fanficsong is Run by Joji!
Relationships: oikawa tooru / reader
Kudos: 25





	run

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this song stuck in my head for days and I've been listening to it on repeat so I couldn't help but write a something about this song and oikawa. I don't know why but I always write him in such a horrible way but maybe one day I can actually write him without thinking of him in such bad waysididjd
> 
> this is also my first songfic so please forgive me if it isn't great!

A small, sad smile came to your face as you absentmindedly looked out the train window. This was the day you'd finally do it. You'd finally confront him about everything. It was about time that you did something about whatever you two had. When the train had finally stopped at your station, you calmly walked off and looked around for moment, hoping that this would be the last time you'd get off here. As you snapped out of your gaze, you started to walk around. Your eyes caught a familiar building and you stopped once more as you remembered how you met the infamous Oikawa. 

_You were late to your job, and as you stumbled to straighten out your shirt, you accidentally bumped into a tall body. You fell down to the ground with a small yelp and landed down on your tush. The man you had collided with, turned around and gave you a shocked look._

_"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly as he held out his hand to you._

_"I-i'm fine." You laughed nervously, as you took his hand. He hoisted you up, and a bit too aggressively because you ended up hitting his chest. You placed both of your hands against his firm chest. With a flustered look, you peered up at him. You could feel your breath drop as you studied his face. He was absolutely gorgeous!_

_"Th-that's good to hear." He laughed nervously, as he awaited you to move._

_"Ri-right! Sorry about that!" You yelled as you immediately pulled away from him, which lead him to chuckle._

_"Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked gently, still observing you carefully._

_"I'm fine! Thank you for your concern and sorry for bumping into you! I must go but if you're hurt in any way I will find a way to make up for it!" You yelled once again because you were completely flustered. You pulled out a business card from your jacket and waved, before running off. He was going to ask for your name but only chuckled as he glanced down at the card._

_"What a peculiar person..." He murmured with a small smirk._

**_I fell for your magic, I tasted your skin_ ** _**.** _

He ended up calling you later that day, asking you out to a bar. You were happy he got your hint. It later became much more than drinks, much more intimate, you were head-over-heels in love with him. And he felt the same way you did as well, a first for him in quite some time. He couldn't pull away even if he wanted to at the beginning. It was like you two were under a spell. You shook out of your daze as you started to head towards a small little neighborhood with many houses lined up.

_Your old home._

A small sigh escaped your lips as you looked at the house. It was simple, but it was perfect for the two of you because you didn't need anything grand, just the each other. That was before, but this was now. Oh how sweet it use to be in love. 

_**I witness your madness, you shed light on my sins** _

_It was one of your first arguments as a couple, and boy did it hurt. There were so many things being said, so many hurtful things, it was incredible that you could even sleep next to him later that night._

_"You're so fucking stupid! How hard is it to get this through your thick skull huh? You've got the fucking memory of a goldfish!" Oikawa yelled out to you, trapping you against the wall as his hand slammed close to your head. You could feel your heart race and tears starting to form in your eyes. Oh how innocent you use to be._

_"I-I'm sorry okay? I just like to snack I don't understand why-"_

_"It's always about you huh?! What about me f/n!" He yelled in your face, as you felt yourself shrink more away from him. There was nothing to say. He wouldn't even let you utter another word. And you couldn't fight against him anyways. You did't have the courage to. You never did, every time you two fought you'd just let him yell and belittle you until he was done and he'd storm off somewhere outside the house._

_** And if we share in this sadness, then where have you been? ** _

Another sigh came out of you as you started to grab at the keys in your bag. This would be the last time you'd put it in. Your hands shook slightly as you turned the knob and found a dark, empty house. It was no surprise. Oikawa was rarely home anymore. It doesn't matter anyways. He'd now be greeted the same way you have for years now. You couldn't remember the last time you two saw each other for more than a few hours. As you set your bag down onto the floor, you wandered around the now nearly empty living room. You took as many things as you could without him noticing. It didn't matter though because he never did, and never would. You noticed dust building up on the coffee table and you sighed. Maybe this was a bad idea. He probably wouldn't even come because he was so busy, but you throughly insisted so you were sure he was gonna come. 

**_ I know you're not in love, like you used to be _ **

_ It wasn't hard to tell that the two of you started distancing. Even though you two lived in the same house, you only saw each other for meals and at night when you slept together, but even then there was minimal communication. You would try to start a conversation, like ask how his day was and what you two wanted to eat for dinner that night simple things. But he'd respond with few short sentences as he would look down at his phone. An aching feeling settled on your chest as you finally stopped trying to talk to him He would talk to you when HE wanted to, which was usually for meals, to ask if you were okay out of natural reaction, not out of concern, and or if he wanted to be intimate that night. You weren't even sure why you always said yes but you did. Regret.  _

**_Guess I'm not the one, like you used to think_ **

A small smile came to your face as you peered at the photo laying on the nearby table. It was one of the first few dates you two had gone on, and this time it was at the amusement park. That was your favorite date by far. The two of you had so much fun! Even though Oikawa had taken you both there, he clung onto you at both the haunted house and the more extreme rides. Who knew he was such a scaredy cat? You chuckled to yourself, as you then remembered the ferris wheel. It was where you two shared your first true kiss, not one out of a drunken, horny filled situation. it started off so short and sweet. It was the perfect first kiss to start a relationship. Your smile fell as you set down the framed photo once more. It was over, there was no more feelings like that in your empty relationship. Your heart started to hurt as you remembered what he said to you just as you two were about to get off the ferris wheel. 

_"I think I think you might be the one f/n-chan."_

You let out a small 'tch' sound as you turned to look out the window. Such sad words to remember now. 

**_So I'll just run_ **

You waited there for hours, and every time you checked down at your watch, it only seemed to go slower. You had been sitting in the same spot for a couple of hours now. He was probably just getting off. A sudden anxiousness filled your chest. Any courage you had before was now gone. You couldn't do this. You couldn't. You couldn't bare to look him in the eyes, or to hear his voice if he did try to fight that. That was just Oikawa. He just had that affect on you. That why you'd always let him have your body when he wanted it, even if you didn't. It was that  face , that  body , that  voice . Any reason you ever held would disappear. 

A panicked came to your face as you scrambled to grab anything else you wanted before he came. You stuffed it into another bag you'd brought, rather in a rush. You then grabbed a pen and pad of paper, throughly writing down something for your ex-lover. You couldn't face him this time, once again. You were cowardly, there was no way you confront him. The confidence you had hours ago was gone from the overthinking. You wrote on the paper and set down your house key on top. This would finally be the end. You grabbed your bags and made sure to lock the door. There was definitely no chance or choice going back inside now. A heavy weight was finally lifted off you shoulders as you scurried back to the station, to where your new home resided far from here. 

-

-

-

-

-

-

Oikawa had just missed you. Just by a few minutes. But he didn't know that yet. He was rushing home because you sounded so... worried and scared. He couldn't remember the last time you had called him, and vice versa. But he was still going to make it there for you, because you were always there for him. 

"I'm home f/n-chan~" He yelled into the empty house, a little surprised to see it so dark and empty.

"f/n-chan?" He called out, once more. He first looked upstairs, and in the living room but the notepad caught his eye once he wandered into the kitchen. He carefully took the pad and started to read.

**_"Dear Oikawa-san,_ **

****

**_I hope you receive this letter well. I'm sorry to call you in such a panic, there was no need to rush if you did. And I'm sorry I dragged you here. I'm sure you're super busy with modeling and your volleyball and whatnot. But I do appreciate you coming if you did. I'm just rambling on huh? Typical. Anyways, I wanted to tell you this face to face, but as you know, some things never change. I can't face you, or hear you because I know I'll just run back to you like always. And it can't happen again. I wouldn't be able to do it again. I'd just hurt all over again, and I'd really break then. We need to break up. As simple as that. We can't just keep hurting each other, and we can't just using each other. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happier, I'm sorry I couldn't be more useful to you. I'm sorry that I was only a burden to you. There are so many thing's i'm sorry for, but I think the biggest thing I'm sorry for is sticking with you for so long. We were both just hurting huh? It was... amazing to be with you at first Oikawa-san, you know that? God, I remember in our younger years, I couldn't get enough of you. It didn't matter where we were, I was just so happy to be with you. We could've been on a deserted island and I would've been so happy to be with you. I'm sure you felt the same because you also stuck with me for so long. Remember when we went to Osaka for the weekend? That was the most fun I've ever had in my life. You never failed to make sure I was having fun and was okay. You treated me like a queen, and I'd never had that experience before. I've wondered for months, what went wrong. What made us fight more? What made us drift away? What made us... fall in love? I think back and I no longer have an answer. If you'd asked me when we first started dating, I would've said something immediately without hesitation. Probably something like "I love him because he's so sweet!" Or "He's so caring and kind. And trusting!" But now I ask myself this and I have no answer. I have no more love. My love is gone. When was the last time we went on a date? When was the last time we cuddled, and not just after having sex? When was the last time we just had a nice, casual conversation that didn't break into an argument? There's no point in staying in this broken relationship Oikawa. It only leads us to hurt more. So, I've gone and left. I'm sure you've failed to notice but all of my things are finally moved out as of today. I've left my key for you, and I cleaned up a bit because it was getting messy. There's also some leftovers from the night before when you get hungry... it's so stupid now that I've written that down. I'm still babying you even though I'm gone. The nerve I have right? Anyways... thank you for all the good memories we shared over the years. I... will miss you. I know I will because you were my first love. Do you remember that? You were my first in nearly everything. I'm laughing right now but it really does hurt so much Oikawa-san. Even though I want to hate your guts, hate you for ignoring me, hate you for leaving me alone, hate you for being so selfish, I can't find myself to hate you. I just can't. I'm sorry for rambling. This is too much to digest in one sitting. Please take care, and be safe. Maybe call Iwaizumi-san so he can watch over you so you don't do anything stupid... actually I will because I know you won't. you're going to go out looking for me even though you will not find me. I've now changed my number and now I'm gone. This is for the best Oikawa. Thank you once more for the memories, even if they weren't so great. They were also great! Don't get me wrong... ahh this letter has gone on for way too long. Thank you. And I'll always love you just a little bit. Please find someone special to you Oikawa, one you'll cherish for the rest of your life. It shouldn't be that hard for you right? You were a natural for the ladies._ **

****

**_Sincerely,_ **

****

**_l/n f/n_ **

Oikawa was in tears now. Everything was absolutely hurting inside and out. As he clutched the papers tightly in his hands, he slammed his fist against the counter. He couldn't understand why you'd just leave without much of a notice. sure, your relationship wasn't perfect but was there any that was completely perfect. Oikawa slammed his fist down once again, as his forehead leaned against the cool table. 

Oikawa failed to notice Iwaizumi enter his house. He could only stare sadly his friend as he broke. Iwaizumi had only seen him like this once, and that was long ago. But it was like a repeating cycle. You'd left just the same as the other girl back in high school. But she managed to do it face to face, this was much more painful. Oikawa was missing your face, your touch, your voice. How was he just now realizing how much he missed you?. How much did he miss? All the cues, how many did he miss?'

Iwazumi sighed softly as he reached for his friend and brought him into a comforting hug. There was nothing more he could do to ease the pain. It's not like he could bring you back, or repair your relationship. He could only hug the heart broken man as he bawled his eyes out.


End file.
